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In my wildest dreams I want to never get used to being in love; I want every day to feel like the first day of spring, and the cherries blooming, and the air a touch over fifty degrees, and everything glittering. I know by now—it has taken some years, and I have stopped journaling—that the business of loving is mostly a lot of work. But there is magic too in it. Why stop marveling. Why ever get used to it.

Why Can't I Forget My First Love?

This is Part 8 of our Love, Stories series. Read the others here!

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8 men share stories about the first time they fell in love | Metro News

What We're Reading This Week Get recommendations for the greatest books around straight to your inbox every week. You've signed up successfully! She just fit right into my life and I loved every second of it. But there was always her loving and caring side which she finally got to put to use on me.

How do you really know when you’ve found true love?

She made me feel appreciated. She became more and more confident as time went on and I helped her with her mental health. She seemed to overcome it after around 6 months, which was so satisfying to see. When we hit around the 21 month mark, things started to decline.


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Our relationship had lost that original spark that we had, and things were quickly getting stale. We started to get involved in more and more arguments which always ended up with me apologising, even if I knew she was in the wrong. For the first and last time, I retaliated to her and shouted directly at her face.

We both then realised that things were in a very bad place and said that maybe we should take some time to think things over. She came over to mine where we were back to being all cute and cuddly, I cooked her favourite dinner, and everything seemed right again. She taught me so much and gave me the happiest two years of my life. But everyone knew it was about me and her.

We visited, with families and without. She was mad into me, calling every day as soon as I got home from school and constantly texting. I went through hundreds of Euro of credit and blamed the network. I used to love seeing it written down and she used to send me little gifts with that phrase all over it.

It went on for about another year. Bebo other halves, telling each our friends all about each other, making plans to visit. I think I considered her my girlfriend but I never had the bravery to kiss her, which I regretted for a long time after. I saw her so infrequently.

But I know for my part, it took me until very recently to understand that affection came in many forms. Memories of her are my happiest memories. I had trouble adjusting. All my friends were left behind. She was in my class and had recently arrived in the UK from Australia. I absolutely adored her from the first moment I saw her.

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We hung out together a lot. We lived quite close to each other and I was always round her house. At age 11 we went to separate secondary schools and we lost touch although I saw her around once or twice. I still loved her a lot but was a very shy boy. It was a fantastic thing and also a horrible thing. As soon as I saw her I realised that I still had really strong feelings for her.

Of course there was nothing I could do. We both went on to have children and strangely after about 17 years we both split from our partners.


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  • A few years after that…about eight years ago I joined Facebook and after a year or two of messing about on there we found each other again. It is so lovely to be in touch again.